Fri 26 Jul 2024

 

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Solo female vanlife can be lonely – but this is why I’m desperate to go back

Many 'vanlifers' find the lifestyle challenging, but the pitfalls can outweigh those of 'normal' life

I was 33 when I quit my 9–5 office job, bought a campervan and set out to explore life outside of the norm. What started as a summer adventure turned into almost five years on the road. There were challenges along the way, but for the most part, I had the time of my life. I loved the freedom and flexibility and that I was no longer stuck in an office. I found work as a marketing freelancer and writer, which provided me with flexibility and financial security. I met amazing people and explored New Zealand, my beautiful home.

I loved vanlife, and I’m not alone. According to the Office for National Statistics, in 2021, 104,000 households lived in caravans or other temporary structures in England and Wales, and Facebook groups like Vanlife – UK and VanLife UK have hundreds of thousands of members between them. Here in New Zealand, camping is hugely popular, with nearly a quarter of a million people freedom (wild) camping somewhere in the country annually.

Lisa's van at Tokomaru Bay (Photo: Lisa Jansen)
Lisa’s van at Tokomaru Bay (Photo: Lisa Jansen)

However, after almost five years, I became increasingly aware of the downsides. The constant change, while exciting for many years, started to feel exhausting. My van still felt homely, but I dreamt of a permanent bed and full-sized shower. I still loved exploring new places but also longed for a sense of home and belonging.

Most of all, I missed being part of a community. As an introvert, I value close connection to a selected few. As a vanlifer, I met the most amazing people. However, forming deep relationships is hard when you’re constantly on the go.

Holly, a long-term vanlifer in North America, can relate. She shares: “I loved the freedom of vanlife. But I wanted to meet someone and start a family, which was hard to do on the road. So I returned to a more settled life.”

Lisa is returning to life on the road after 18 months of 'normal' life (Photo: Supplied)
Lisa is returning to life on the road after 18 months of ‘normal’ life (Photo: Supplied)

Like Holly, that longing for connection and community ultimately made me sell my van. I was drawn to the familiar, so I returned to Auckland, where I had lived before embarking on my vanlife journey.

The return to a more normal life proved challenging. Reconnecting with old friends turned out to be easier said than done since they had all chosen very different paths in life. I still loved them (and still do), but I didn’t feel as connected to them anymore as I once did.

Being back in Auckland also reminded me how much I dislike living in a big city and how expensive “normal” life is. The prospect of returning to a 9–5 office job just to keep a roof over my head and food on the table was depressing. It maybe didn’t help that I was working on a book about my journey at the time. It meant I still had one foot in that world and was acutely aware of the freedom and adventures I had given up.

For several months, I felt lost and unsure about what I wanted my future to look like. When an opportunity presented itself to housesit for three months in Nelson, an idyllic small town on the South Island, I took it as a sign to move there.

I left Auckland nine months after selling my van. I took a week off work for the move to Nelson, and it was then that I found myself again. Being back on the road – albeit with a car, rather than a campervan – reminded me how much I enjoyed vanlife. I started to miss it like crazy.

Lisa's van view of the Marlborough Sounds in Picton (Photo: Lisa Jansen)
Lisa’s van view of the Marlborough Sounds in Picton (Photo: Lisa Jansen)

This sense of feeling torn between craving both freedom and stability is one many other nomads are familiar with. Helen Lockhart, originally from just outside of Portsmouth, has lived the nomadic life on and off for eight years with her husband and two boys. She can relate: “We paused our nomadic life a couple of times to be close to family. But the longing for adventure always makes us return sooner or later.”

Helen now works for adventure-focused PR agency Roam Generation through that has encountered many nomads who give the lifestyle up, only to miss it so much they return. It turns out I am not alone.

I didn’t settle in Nelson. Instead, I bought a caravan and returned to life on the road.

Vanlife isn’t perfect. But neither is “normal” life. Ultimately, I decided that, right now, I value freedom and time more than I value stability. I may now have found a way to have both.

I’m taking a different approach to vanlife this time around. I’m staying at one campground for a few months to create a base and community. After that, I intend to travel, but much slower, so I’m hoping it won’t feel as hectic. I will have my base to return to whenever I feel like it. Finally, the caravan is much larger than my previous van, so I now have that permanent bed and full-sized shower I used to dream of.

Lisa Jansen is a vanlifer and writer based in New Zealand. She is the author of three books, including the vanlife memoir ‘Life Done Differently: One Woman’s Journey on the Road Less Travelled‘. To follow Lisa’s journey, see lifedonedifferently.com or follow her on facebook.com/LifeDoneDifferentlyNZ and instagram.com/lifedonedifferentlynz

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